By Lynn Scheurell

“You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration.”         ~ James Allen

Imagine that you’ve gotten everything you ever wanted… the life partner, the house, the car, the clothes, the physique, the friends, the money, the lifestyle…

Now what?

If you’re like most humans, you’ll likely sabotage yourself in “having it all”.

Culture in the Western world actually socializes people to be in continuous striving; that is, we don’t know how to have and enjoy everything we’ve worked for and received.

Cultural conditioning would say we’re not working hard enough or infer that we don’t know what to do if we don’t have tangible goals. It would be the break-down of the industrial society systems that we know so well.

Imagine a train chugging up a steep incline, with its engine working hard… when it gets to the top, what does it do? It goes down – logic says that there’s no other way to go.

But what if there WAS another way? What if when the train got to the top, it got to cruise along a plateau rather than drop down?

Now, if you can put yourself in that picture as the train, you’ll see that you naturally keep working hard (going up) or know how to cope with not having the top (going down); however, you likely don’t know how to cruise the topmost plateau you’ve attained.

That’s what I call the “Havingness Quotient”. It doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, but it is descriptive.

The higher your “Havingness Quotient”, the easier it will be for you to hold on to and enjoy your achievements – and vice-versa. You might even think of this as “abundance self-esteem”.

If you have a low “Havingness Quotient”, you will proportionately experience the “downside” of what you want and work toward. In that case, you will find yourself comfortably in discomfort as you “re-tread” what you’ve always done.

So how do you increase your “Havingness Quotient”?

Three Things You Can Do Today:

1. Ask for more than enough.

Often people don’t think big enough in terms of their own abundance (including fees for their services!). Our limited thinking and expectations will keep us in the work hard mode, chugging up our personal hills.

Ask for the most you think you can have – and then double it! The first time you do that, it can be mind-blowing… one of my clients asked for $4,000 in income monthly, which when doubled, became $8,000. This was inconceivable to her, until she reconciled her books the next month – she discovered she actually generated $9,000 that month for the first time in her life!

2. Watch where you are giving.

We cannot enjoy our own “Havingness Quotient” if we give away all the good stuff. Part of the reason that we are here is to ENJOY what we are creating.

Now, that’s not to say you shouldn’t share; however, if you are a chronic over-giver (which is the comfort zone of many), you need to consider where you are leaking what you have because it’s probably draining your “Havingness”. The result is that it keeps you in overwork and probably enjoying less than you should be for all you’re putting out in the world.

3. Look at your self-sabotage patterns.

The good news about being human is that we can be our own observers. We can actually see where we are tripping ourselves up if we look close enough, because it’s a familiar pattern.

Many people who go into “drama” or focus on external “noise” are doing so because they don’t know how to handle abundance (especially if it’s ‘quiet’).

Others will go 90% of the way and then quit on a nearly successful project. And still others will stay in the preparation for the preparation of the preparation… you get the idea. They’re not moving forward.

It could be that people don’t know how to be if they’re not striving anymore – but it’s just as likely that they just don’t know what to expect if they have it all.

Look at where you are potentially sabotaging your own “Havingness”. When you increase your “Havingness Quotient”, you’re living the full cycle of your personal expression in the world, you’re setting a positive example for others around you, it’s magnetically going to attract even more good stuff AND you’re full enough to have plenty of energy with which to change the world.

In other words, to have a bigger impact in and on the world, you must increase your havingness to reap the rewards of what you generate through your presence, your passions and your purpose in business and in life.

And, ultimately, that means others will get to have more too. ;+)

©2012 Lynn M. Scheurell